Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize