If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
