that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize