Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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