i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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