I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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