The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
