CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
A bitchslap is in order.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize