we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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