How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Naked. naked and bneed help.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
