Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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