u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
another moral hangover. fuck.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
