is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
