sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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