Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
