I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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