I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
