Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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