Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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