i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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