He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
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I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
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do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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