unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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