I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
