i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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