Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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