I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
