Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
