I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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