Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
