Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
