in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
