I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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