Girls should come with a carfax report
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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