i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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