i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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