Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
