i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
you never un-have a 4some
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
