she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
And then he peed in my hair
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