the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
