I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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