I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
