Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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