there's paper in my vomit.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
