did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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