If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
