I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
