He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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