ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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