My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
