so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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