just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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