if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
