so that wasnt chicken after all
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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