you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
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just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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