I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
