Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
