His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
it was like eating out sand paper
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I FOUND THE LEGS
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize