I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
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My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
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He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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