New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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