my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
