there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
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I need you to use more vowels.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
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Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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