Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
