Yo dont text me then not text me
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
